Prank of the Week: Vol. 1 - Vaseline Phone

The results are in, and I have had a very warm reception to my blogs about pranks at work, which can be found HERE and HERE. In response to this, I will now be adding a “Prank of the Week” regularly to this blog. Congratulations, you are now reading Volume 1 of this new Third Shift Slacker regular.



Some of these pranks may be originally dreamed up in my twisted mind to torture my co-workers. You will find however, that most of these are old standards that have been passed along through the years. I take great pleasure in sharing my acquired knowledge with you, fellow slackers.

The prank discussed this week will be one of the old standards that I mentioned above. Although it’s old, never doubt the hilarity involved. These pranks are all timeless classics when executed properly. Here is a material list:

- Vaseline, KY Jelly, or any clear gel-like substance
- Office phone

This prank is very simple to execute, with maximum results for pissing people off. Basically you just smear Vaseline on the earpiece of your co-workers desk phone and wait for them to answer it. There are two variations on this. The first is remaining anonymous and just waiting for someone to call the phone. The second is that you actually call the phone yourself, so that you can hear the disgust in their voice when they realize what has happened. Which variation you use depends on how good the chosen co-worker can take a joke, and also if you are prepared to be retaliated against. Personally, I like to keep it anonymous just to keep them guessing, wondering who is out to get them.

An easy to execute, easy to conceal prank that will satisfy every time. God I love my job…I just hope I get to keep it.

The Candy Man

Who couldn’t use a little extra cash in their pocket, am I right? Being a third shift slacker allows me enough time to explore other money-making ventures besides my normal job. With the extra 6-7 hours a night that I am not actually working, I can make my regular salary and also explore my other options. Sure, you can make extra money with overtime, but who wants to go to those extremes? Why not do it on your own terms?



I have had a fair amount of success making extra money at work. Throughout my third shift slacking career, I have found the internet to be a wonderful way to reach out and grab extra capital while I am at work. At different times, I have had both an Amazon store and an eBay store that I managed while on the clock. I have also found Craig’s List to be a valuable tool. I also ran a successful computer repair business and website design company from the comforts of my own career. It really is amazing how much you can do with your extra time. I have funded many family vacations with extra earnings from my “side jobs,” if you want to call them that. Basically, I am getting paid to come to work and try and make money for myself. It’s almost like owning my own business, without the pesky overhead and responsibilities.

When I started writing this blog entry, I realized that I am not the only one who cashes in on this fact. There are many around me who do similar things. There are a couple of employees who enjoy flea markets and antique stores, and who rummage these sales each weekend. Often they resell these items to other employees at work, or they also use online listings to drum up some cash.

Another guy buys knock-off purses, such as D&G, Chanel and Coach. They look exactly like the real thing, but they are a fraction of the price. This guy has made a small fortune peddling these things.

Probably the most famous around our place of work is a guy we affectionately refer to as “The Candy Man”. As you might have guessed, he sells assorted candy, chips and even sodas. Now of course we have vending machines at work, but this guy can undercut the prices and give us a better deal. Plus he takes requests, so his snack selection is A-one. We get cheaper, better snacks and he gets extra cash.

I would almost bet that you are missing your potential out there. I guarantee you that there is a way to make some extra cash at your job that you haven’t even considered yet. Use your bean and I’m sure you will come up with the perfect way to fund your next family outing without all of the extra hours on the job. What better way than getting paid for two jobs while only working one? I love my job…I just hope I get to keep it.

This Spud's For You

Two words that you may never have thought of together: potato cannon. One word to describe the results: scrumtralescent. I recently ran across plans to build a potato cannon online. You can Google it and find all kinds of different plans and designs for them. If you have never heard of one, it is basically a self-explanatory term. It’s a cannon that fires potatoes. What more could a third shift slacker ask for?



For a few dollars (or for free if you “borrow” material from your workplace like we did) you can have a makeshift weapon that will bring hours of enjoyment. The basic materials that you need are PVC pipe, hairspray, a gas grill ignition switch and of course potatoes. Now keep in mind that the ignition switch is a fancy add-on, and can be replaced with a long candle lighter. DO NOT use a regular cigarette lighter, you may risk injury.

Once everything is assembled you can jam a potato in the end of the PVC pipe. Then, you spray hairspray in the other end of the pipe. You should have a threaded fitting on this end, so you can screw on a PVC cap to trap all of the hairspray fumes. Now, if you have a grill ignition switch mounted on the side the wires will be inside the tube. So when you push the switch you get a spark and then…BOOM! Glorious. If you use a long candle lighter, just make a hole in the side of the tube so you can stick it in to light the hairspray. Obviously, with a grill ignition switch you can seal everything off tighter for better results.

You would not believe the distance and velocity you can get out these things. I would recommend this little toy to any third shift slacker who needs a break from the ordinary. They are actually pretty accurate too, and can be great fun with target practice. Don’t be a wise guy and start shooting cars in the parking lot, because they will definitely shoot hard enough to make a dent.

What a lovely way to spend a night at work while not actually working. There are many variations on this old trick, so do a little digging and you will find everything you need. Tweak the design and make it even better, and if you do please share with the rest of the slacker community! I am always intrigued by new ways to be a better third shift slacker. After all, I love my job…I just hope I get to keep it.